Ang putang mayaman at ang putang mahirap

Prostitute waiting for customers.

Image via Wikipedia

Caressing carefully everything inconsequential and titanic in that Ramsey-Reyes-Curtis flick, I feel compelled to ease out some thoughts which might never be as revealing tomorrow as they are today. Although adrift with the recent news on flooding in the provinces up north and the recent conundrum Sen. Leon Guerrero suffered and relished so painfully at the Senate floor, sticking to his side of the chamber  for fear of distancing from his “whisperer”. I didn’t know how we could be amused about his performance but I feel disturbed. Not by his obvious lack of luster in parliamentary grandstanding and what not but by the fact that I am amused too and without also knowing why. Although I will never venture into constructing or even justifying any semblance of exculpation for my inability.

No Other Woman. Sino ba ang mas mahirap na kalaban? Ang putang mahirap, o ang putang mayaman? I don’t know if I got that right but that sounds right anyway. Well, the difference is that, according to the character played by Martin, a putang mayaman has an authentic Hermes, while a putang mahirap has an Hermes from the recesses of a place called Greenhills. So it comes to mind then how we are all putas in one way or another, that we are all guilty of deep, dark, and dirty kaputahan, again, in one way or another. In general, we are no different from the night crawlers of Malate, Q. Ave, Circle, and Makati Ave. WTF. How do I know these places? Public knowledge, of course! But that is not the point. My point is, we can all be putas in a socio-sexual context (That, according to Miss Honorato).

It doesn’t matter if one is a man or a woman. Or a mahirap or a mayaman. Or hailing from the secure enclaves of posh gated communities or from the squatters where, accordingly, revolution always brews. Men can also be prostitutes. Men of the cloth can also be prostitutes. Miss Honorato, a philosophical realist character in F. Sionil Jose’s Ermita and who, in this novel was described as a Ph.D. whose research was not only confined in academic cemeteries said, “Who then are the real prostitutes if prostitution is defined as making money – perhaps – lots of it – by doing something without conviction or morality? Look around you (…) and you will find them everywhere under the guise of respectability, as statesmen, as men of the cloth, entrepreneurs…”

Like the common puta who does rounds at night to reach the darkness’s quota, at least for the time being, we also do rounds with life without any morality, much less conviction. Morality, as meant here is not the religious-spiritual kind that pulpiteers homilize, sounds like profiteers ain’t it?, but no, it is a coinage from pulpit and preachers. What is meant here is that, we do not remain true to ourselves even suffering tropism to our own questions and doubts. Not that tropism is evil but we no longer remain honest to ourselves, to what we really are, to what we really want. We lose morality even to our own beliefs. We sin even against our own personal mores. We lose credibility in front of the familiar men and women that we see when we face the mirror. That is immorality, living without belief. In that way, we are putas.

We look not at straight paths in our lives  but a series of choices. That is a product of our time’s stupefaction on the touchscreen and aps  where everything may be downloaded and installed and deleted in one big commercialization cycle. But that is not so in life. The choices that we see are what they are. Choices. Now, we never look at these choices right on the eyes and become contentious of the end product as planned. For the sake of the easy way out in our transactions we easily give in sacrificing our conviction. When we live life without conviction, we are prostitutes.

As a result, living side by side with our fellow putas, the whole society becomes nothing but a big organized taxed brothel with no real commodity  but our penises and cunts. Government, for example will prostitute itself before citizens only to provide temporary shelters to calamity victims but not sufficiently addressing long term issues. Government knows it is not doing enough but is still supplying programs only to satisfy primal needs and the needs of the press.

In the absence of conviction, lives become nothing less than being alive but without really living. Cliche. Living becomes fucking money-making leaving the essence of living behind and enclosed in high school yearbooks where ideals were still fresh and bubbly they could start a revolution. Living without conviction is living in a flame that consumes not only the years but the sup of life itself. Drying to the very core the joy of breathing and suffering. It is drowning on up the necks without hope of getting rescued. It is living without the fruits and colors of being alive.

It does not really matter now if you are mayaman or mahirap.

Must you be a puta?

Advertisements

Remembering

“A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.”

-Christina Georgina Rossetti

Someone is really never gone. Someone is still there waiting for lunch or saying you will go the distance or has a note to tell you there’s someone watching your back or wanting a plane ride.

Just how do you remember someone gone? When the tenderness has faded and gone to solitude, just how do you revive warmth and affection? When longing for that faint caress on your palm, just how do you recall sensation? When someone has bid love on you, just how do you recover that snail smile it made you and your day. Even when someone is gone, as moonlight recedes for day, you remember that once there was someone who made everything so adorable and expect to see a lovely sight again even in darkness.

So you think what could have been had things happened so differently, had the Sun never set on you. You muse now if things would have been different, perchance you would have had the chance to admit reciprocity of desire. Perchance you would have the guts to admit it bears you down to say next time. Nights would have been different too. Days would have been a lot brighter. Moments would have been a lot lighter. Maybe you would have shared more moments side by side talking about sweet and good things that only occur in sincere devotion. You bear the loneliness of a cerebral love that never really came true. But it leaves a lovely loveliness footprint that are unlike footprints in the sands of time.

Imagination stretches to a childish wandering when you try to remember someone who could have been. There is no limit to fatalism that only you could justify. So you think that if only you could hold your someone, it would have been so tight that it would leave a mark on the wrist and wherever your someone goes, you will always be tagged along. You think of triumph of the hearts much like musings of a future long gone but now may only be recalled in a thought. You are cognizant that you may never become as before.  Yet, you remember as if longing for an opportunity to be together again, to be together again for one last goodbye.

Remembering is a parting gift you never open.

Lift

Human spirit. The lives with which men breeze through this earth are entrenched with sharp turns, pointed corners, broken bones, and deeply seated fear of many things. These same lives however, are also enriched with great triumphs.

Life and living per se are densely murky. The level of visibility at the plains before our vision is almost always zero but human spirit breezes through all sharp turns and broken hearts. The human spirit pushes through total darkness to achieve, at first the resolve to achieve for it is an achievement in itself, then freedom from restraints, and then something sublime. That is always the order. After every “WTF” moment are high triumphs.

Earth and circumstance.

Earth. Referring to a number elements, it is the physicality on which lives live in. It is fraught with dangers, to borrow the words of Rabbit on catching a heffalump beyond the Hundred Acre Wood. Natural disasters. Man-made disasters. Time. Future. Fruits of time and future, among other elemental gangsters so irritatingly near and real; so possible and right on everyone’s faces. These notwithstanding, human spirit still achieves triumph. After every danger, and even when everything else has already been flattened down and torn to pieces, human spirit rebuilds.

It rebuilds not only the physical structure that has been broken, but also the abstract posts for such structures. For in every concrete post standing is humanity arising far taller and sturdier than the actual structure- that very decisiveness to conquer every danger earth throws at human resolve.

Realize. Realize that the human spirit has, for centuries, been trying to master his earth. Harnessing every element for his utilitarian mood and drawing strength from its core source-himself. Man draws his own powers not from rings, amulets, or enchanted hammers but from his own core. Every human spirit is a powerful human reactor. It is not only evolution that proves it. Its being part of the Earth itself.

Circumstance. A creation from nothingness that literally surprises and stuns every part of the physical heart; that very shot of fate that suddenly changes constancy; that every drop of anvil at the very parietal bone of you and capable of straightening even the aortic arch. That kind of circumstance. It’s heavy. It’s not a-friendly. It comes without warning like every fleeting second.

Sometimes. Sometimes the spirit is stunned by the immensity of a concern. It literally halts, though only momentarily, all motion forward. These moments one would say, “This too shall pass“. There is no feasible way out. That will pass. There is no weight greater. That will pass. There is nothing that can be done. That will pass for every stunning moment human spirit still manages to achieve high triumph.

There is nothing that can pin down the resolve of anyone to achieve a goal. Not even death. Death creates lives. There is nothing on earth or in heaven that can ground the flight of a soaring courage. Not even void. Void attracts fullness. Even failure encourages success. There is always a way to find the laurels even at the most depressing of times. Arise then! Soar. Lift.

Roads and Consequences

“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.” This is according to Master Oogway. The mentor of Master Shifu who is the mentor of Po the Dragon Warrior in the movie Kung Fu Panda

The way to get to where we want to be is often fraught with thorny details, emotional underpasses, labyrinth of expectations, and blind spots-choices we ought to make and considerations therein. Expectations from ourselves and from our family. Family includes all who take part in our life. It is therefore not easy to traverse any road. To underestimate one road would be to close our eyes to all the underpinnings life means us to meet.

As with life, any road is tricky. We all know that. But have we realized it to stop whining about all life’s thorns? Have we accepted all the thorns and road blocks and obstacles that get in the way. We may be appalled at times, but at the end of the day, we realize there is nothing we can do much but to accept the fact that obstacles are the way of the road. We cannot do anything about all pot holes whenever we pass a road. We cannot do anything not because of incapability but because of mere realization of reality that in every road there must always be pot holes. We cannot blame the engineers who designed the road and the workers who constructed it, for they too had road blocks and humps when they were working on their roads. Pray for wisdom on how to tread a tricky road.

Every journey entails sacrifice. We feel every step that we make for and in behalf of our family. We sacrifice our personal attachment to a particular journey. We sacrifice our own journeys to take the journeys which our family drove us to take. Not because we had a choice, or because we didn’t, but because we just knew we had to. At our expense. We can only take comfort in the fact that someone will be better because we took this journey. We knew that if we didn’t they will get hurt, they will die. We are forced to take journeys not our own, but we embrace these journeys because we offer new hope. We will never stop to do so.

Then there will be our loved ones watching over every step. Much like our own fathers and mothers watching every step that we made after our first ones. Although we have taken the road that they wanted us to take, they will still expect us to travel this road according to how they would traverse it or how they want us to travel it. They will expect us to take the same steps that they did, to take the turn that they took. Then we will think that we have given so much already. So we will stop and contemplate back. We stop and look back not because we want to rebel, or oppose, or go against, but because we want to know we can take this road according to our own game plan. We have to make them realize that because they taught us how to walk, they must let go, and when it is our turn to let go, let us let go.

The turns are unsure. Sometimes there are forks. Most of the time it’s just a left or a right. Most of the time we can go back. Step back. But sometimes there are rules which forbid us to undo the steps we made. Then we are subjected to the journey’s consequences. What if the turns that we take do not guarantee safety of all the things that we hold dear? Will we still take such turns? Then we weigh in all our cards. We weigh in all our baggage. We calculate. We think, “Can I afford to make this turn? Can i afford to make a wrong turn?” In  the end, we have to choose. Howver, whatever turn we make, be sure to do it decisively, with heart. Do not turn back. Every turn you make speaks a hell about you.

u turn

Calculate every turn?

Companions are a must. Journeys are sweeter with travel mates. Have you chosen yours? It is always good to take every step by feeling it and being joyful you took it because you know there is someone two steps behind us, watching us, speaking with us, being careful for us. That at every wrong step they will be there to console us. That at every drop, they will be there to cushion the fall. They may not catch us at every fall, but they will die trying.

All roads are the same. It’s the journey that’s different.

We will be changed by every step, turn, and hump that we will meet.

Find meaning at every step, turn, and hump. When you don’t, you lose the joy of the step. The thrill of the turn. And the freedom of the fall. May you find your destiny on the road you take to get there. At the very first step we already knew where to go. It doesn’t matter anymore if it’s to nowhere. But don’t go to nowhere if it’s not going to bring you any desired result. You must always go somewhere.

Not Royal But Royalty

This does not even have to be stated. But for statement’s sake it may still be said- The world is, as of the moment, struck awed by the extent of attention toward British royals because of the royal wedding. Although their relevance is already debatable in this time of modernity where inheritance of power as in dynasties is shunned, the world is still overwhelmed by them and by the fact that the world is overwhelmed.

No doubt, media fueled such admiration, either positively of otherwise. British media outfits, understandably, cover the royal wedding almost obsessively. What is surprising however, is the extent of coverage American media gives this event. Reports say American media already eclipsed the Brits in their coverage of the wedding. Howver, considering average Americans are only short of crowning their own royals – Michael Jackson, Elvis, Britney Spears, Oprah, Lady Gaga, and Justin Bieber, among others, people should not wonder.

People indeed adore celebrities. That is true everywhere. Let it not be limited to movie actors, performers and entertainers. Religious figures may also be counted, among others, the Pope, evangelists and preachers, super church leaders, and Imams. Politicians are celebrities in their own right as well. These celebrities are no royals but they enjoy the same or at times, even greater attention compared to the royals. Only recently, people even loved vampires and wizards!

There is a thesis that this royal wedding does not deserve all the attention and fascination it is getting. Assuming in arguendo, that it is right, still it cannot be denied that there is reason generated by human nature in admiring the event and the protagonists in this event. Concerts are no different, supporters throng to them. Religious gatherings are no different, believers take pilgrimage to them. Political rallies are no different, affiliates crowd them. So let royal fans enjoy their moment of romance and elation over this wedding.

To forbid them or even to disapprove of them would be to forbid and disapprove of human nature. As emotional and rational beings people find essence in adulation and praise. Extolling reinforces human spirit into becoming transcendent. It is not as simple as looking up to something or someone. Praise is an expression of a need to surpass a current state of being into something greater and worth extolling or praising. When people praise they also hope to attain the state of someone or something they look up to.

To forbid or disapprove of this admiration toward celebrities would be to forbid and disapprove of current institutions in society. For from praise comes respect and vice versa. From praise and respect come conformity to societal structures. That is why we have governments, international organizations, alliances, and states. It is because of this conformity that states and governments came to existence. Of course there is that need for order and security but this could not have been possible without the human nature of praise and respect. Theories on the origins of government boil down to a need from people willing to conform.

Without this awe and attention for celebrities people would also have no awe and attention for leaders. The attention we give toward celebrities and leaders come from the same source and human need albeit differently reasoned and philosophized. It is therefore not marvelous that awe and attention are concentrated on a few. It is part of structure. A triangular scheme of organizations where there are leaders ahead of everyone else. It is primal.

Notice a flock of any avian species. Notice any pride of lions. Notice any herd of wild buffaloes.  There is always someone ahead everyone else is following and looking up to. Human nature is of course way more complex than animal instinct but it cannot be denied that it is basic in human nature and that is not a negative trait. It is simply natural.